There I was, struggling through another incredible difficult task that felt more like medieval torture than beneficial exercise.  As I recall, it was some variation on a squat.  My trainer, who could see me struggling, started to coach me through the end:  “Come on.  You can do it.  You’re strong.  You’re a warrior.”

And, my initial reaction was:  “I don’t want to be a warrior.  I want to be a princess.”

I’ve written before about how I revert to the mental state of a six-year-old when I walk into a personal training suite.  I want to be a princess?  What grown woman thinks to herself:  “No to warrior; yes to princess.”

But the thought stuck with me.  As I was regaling my fitness-enthusiast-best-friend with stories of my training one night, I told him about this moment.  He thinks that I am a nightmare of a client and feels quite sorry for my trainer.

“But do you really want to be a princess?”, he asked.  He knows me as an ambitious, driven woman who likes to control, well, everything.  In fact, most people would describe me as the kind of girl who takes charge, organizing everything and everyone I encounter.  I am alpha woman.  Hear me roar.

And therein lies my desire to be a princess.  I see it this way.  Being in control, being responsible, being productive, being in charge, being a strong, independent modern woman is, quite frankly, exhausting.  I realize that I have avoided exercise and physical strength training, in part, because I’m afraid that if I get stronger I’ll have even more demands and responsibilities piled on top of me.

I long for a life with fewer battles and more balls.  I don’t want to wave a sword; I want to wave a handkerchief from my tower in the castle, get rescued be a noble knight, and spend the rest of my days wearing a tiara and trying on glass slippers.

I’ve never watched Xena:  Warrior Princess or Avatar and I’m not into anime, so I really don’t know the first thing about what it is to be both a warrior and a princess.  But as I travel across this strange terrain they call fitness, perhaps I will find out.

One thing is for sure: I’m going to need a sword and a shield to battle all of my demons and dragons.  Because princesses who hide in towers and wait to be rescued usually end up waiting for at least one hundred years.  I’ve got less than two years to reach my goal.