You’d think that an exercise with the word ’sit’ in it, wouldn’t be so bad.  You’d also think that an exercise that allows you to lean against a wall might be easier than others.  On both accounts, you’d think wrong.  Get a load of these descriptive excerpts from wikipedia.org:

“A wall-sit is an exercise done to strengthen the quadriceps muscles.  The person wall-sitting places their back against a wall with their feet shoulder width apart and a little ways out from the wall. Then, keeping their back against the wall, they lower their hips until their knees form right angles. This is a very intense work out for the quadriceps muscles. It can be very painful to hold this position for extended periods of time.”

I’m here to tell you that in my universe an ‘extended period of time’ is about 45 seconds.  The first fifteen seconds, I can cope.  The next fifteen seconds, my thighs quiver and burn like sapling trees in an out-of-control, wind-driven brush fire.  By the time I get to the last fifteen seconds I’m shaking, moaning, groaning, and begging my trainer for mercy. 

At that very moment, ask me what I want, and I need less than a millisecond to contemplate my final answer.  I want to hear the only four words that could make a girl in my position happy:  “Here is your lifeline.” 

You see, when I make it to the end of my wall-sitting torture…(You think I exaggerate? Here’s another excerpt from wikipedia.org: “This exercise is also used as a disciplinary activity in the armed forces. It takes up little space, and can be administered easily in classroom settings to misbehaving soldiers-in-training.”  Seriously, folks, I couldn’t even make this stuff up!)

…As I was saying, when I make it to the end of my wall-sitting torture, my trainer reaches out his hand and helps me return to a standing position while announcing: “Here is your lifeline”.  I’m as grateful as if he’d just helped me to win a million dollars.

The other day, right around Second 38 of Sitting, a thought crossed my mind:  The next time the question of wall-sits comes up in a personal training session, I think I’d like to try a different lifeline.  How about phoning a friend?