I failed the 60-Day Challenge.  Mark Twain wrote in  The Innocents Abroad:

At certain periods it becomes the dearest ambition of a man to keep a faithful record of his performances in a book; and he dashes at this work with an enthusiasm that imposes on him the notion that keeping a journal is the veriest pastime in the world, and the pleasantest. But if he only lives twenty-one days, he will find out that only those rare natures that are made up of pluck, endurance, devotion to duty for duty’s sake, and invincible determination, may hope to venture upon so tremendous an enterprise as the keeping of a journal and not sustain a shameful defeat.

So, there you have it.  I gave up on my 60-Day Challenge.  I could offer a host of excuses.  It basically boils down to being extremely busy, extremely overwhelmed, and extremely devoted to self-sabotage.  I actually kept on journaling (privately) beyond the twenty days.  But, I couldn’t seem to find the time, the energy, or the inclination to share my notes with you, dear reader.  Then, by about day 30, I just gave up completely.  I stopped counting.  I stopped paying attention.  And sure enough, I returned to my ways of unconscious eating.

I used to ‘never’ fail.  I was a superstar.  An A+ student.  An overachiever.  But I was suceeding in areas that made me feel comfortable.  I loved school.  I loved learning.  I loved taking exams and writing term papers.  I loved music and theater and band.  I didn’t pursue goals in areas where I didn’t already have a healthy dose of natural talent.  Now that I’m trying to achieve in a world where things don’t come naturally to me, I fail all of the time.  But, I’m going to keep on trying.

In two days, I will be running another 5K.  I set a goal about a month ago.  I wanted to run the 5K in 40 minutes or less.  My trainer generously gave me a training schedule to help me prepare.  Then, life got in the way.  My business got busy.  My Mom got sick.  My motivation waned.  And my training fizzled in much the same way that this food journal did.  Now, it will take a miracle to meet my goal.  Last night, it took me 40 minutes to complete 2.75 miles.  That additional half mile will take me at least eight more minutes.  It means that my time might actually be worse than the time I registered six months ago at my 2nd 5K.  But, I’m not giving up.  I’m going to show up. (After all, Woody Allen once said that eighty percent of success if showing up).  I’m going to participate.  I’m going to give it everything I can on that day.  “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average”, said M.H. Alderson.  And, if I’m running ‘average’, I’ll count my blessings.

If it first you don’t succeed…  There are so many other ways to complete that phrase:  Try, try again.  Skydiving is not for you.  Destroy all the evidence that you tried.  Failure may be your style.  In my case, I plan to try again.